Growing up Protestant, I was jealous of my Catholic friends who enjoyed the rich traditions and rituals of their brand of Christianity.
I loved the drama, the nudity, the raw passion portrayed in the stained glass windows and the realistic sculptures. There was so much intensity to it and it inexplicably turned me on.
I guess you can say that if God was on Facebook, our relationship status would say, It’s Complicated.
I identify as 100% Christian, but I’m not afraid of exploring rituals and traditions from other religions and cultures.
I am especially fascinated by ritual of all kinds, but as I grew to discover more of my sexuality, I realized that it was erotic ritual that truly fed my soul.
I used to love to watch cheesy movies about virgins getting sacrificed to volcanoes or an evil god. I know, it’s wrong. Yet it feels so right to think of myself tied up spread eagle on a cold stone slab, my thin white nightgown ripped apart to reveal my breasts, glistening with sweat.
David and I hadn’t dated long when we started talking about this side of me. I told him I was reading the Gor books and getting quite a kick out of them. He smiled and on our next date he brought me the most amazing little book. It contained beautifully drawn illustrations of all the Gorean poses and their names.
My jaw dropped. These stylized poses opened up something inside of me. Maybe it was that fantasy I kept having about being a slave, but more than a slave really; someone who could combine the erotic with the spiritual.
A few years back, I had taken up belly dancing. I loved how it connected me to my body, to my primal sensuality. These poses had the same effect.
He left the book with me and said I should study them. There was going to be a quiz and failing it would come with consequences.
Well, I wasn’t going to let that happen!
I studied the book, memorized the poses, the names, felt myself slip into the role of Kajira, a woman whose sole purpose in life is to please a man sexually.
When it was time for the quiz, he had me strip naked. I felt my body vibrate as I obediently did each pose as he called them out in random order. My pussy swelled as the wetness pooled in my sacred spot.
Posing as a slave for David was beyond arousing. He made me feel so sensual, almost supernatural, really. His Dominance and power over me were intoxicating.
As far as the quiz, I passed with flying colors. And in doing so, I opened up a door to a whole new, exotic world.